2 months!

Wow! Time has flown since the last time I updated this thing.

A list of things that have happened in the last two months (I'll try elaborating on some of these in later posts)

• summer retreat
• USA basketball gold medal win in the Olympics
• Andrew/Andrea got married (and I acted in a live-action Korean drama)
• I moved out of Kittoe and back in with my folks for a few months prior to the wedding
• Castle Crashers became the video game of choice for a month
• began a fantasy football season where I've gotten super lucky so far
• went through a re-org at work, my job role has changed to be a bit more customer-facing
• had a nice dinner at Chez TJ w/ Shally
• began selecting leaders for Canaan next year
  

In terms of wedding planning:

• had to book a new sanctuary site
• booked the honeymoon
  
• selected slideshow pictures
• set up gift registries - a surprisingly enjoyable experience (zap! zap! zap!)
  
• ordered invitations
• reserved tuxes
• began premarital counseling

More later.

Great America

Looks like my daily blogging for August was more than a little ambitious... I'm now aiming for 15 posts for the month, or 1 every other day. Still a little behind... gotta get caught up!

On Wednesday, I got to experience a blast of nostalgia as my group at work went to Great America for a fun day. Some observations/memories:

• Tickets are $54 at the gate. Holy moly.
• It's probably a combination of being a weekday and the ticket price tag, but there aren't really any lines anywhere. I remember back in my elementary/jr high/high school days, you'd be able to get one ride on the popular coasters (Top Gun and Vortex) your entire day because the wait in line would be around an hour. On this day we walked right into the car, and some people just stayed in the coaster since no one was waiting in line.
• Speaking of which, I don't know when it happened, but GA is no longer "Paramount's Great America." Now it's just "California's Great America." I guess it lost corporate sponsorship? The most obvious impact of this in the park is seeing that Top Gun no longer exists - it's simply called "Flight Deck." None of the iconic music, no video clips... so sad.
• Rides ridden: Top Gu- I mean, "Flight Deck," Vortex, Demon, Grizzly, Whitewater Rapids. I think I used to enjoy roller coasters more than I do now. Plus, I lost my hat on Whitewater... doh.
• Neat part of the day: the company paid for an hour of free carnival games in about 9 booths next to the Drop Zone. For an hour there were around 200 engineers milling around trying their hand at shooting mini-basketballs through even mini-er hoops, throwing pitches against a radar gun, squirting water to fill up balloons, and winning prizes up the wazoo. I was able to pick up a stuffed Scooby-Doo for Shally by flinging a 63 mph "fastball" that was the fastest in my heat. The high speed for the day was 66 mph according to the game operator.
• That got me thinking - I feel like I'm in roughly average physical condition. I threw that ball just about as hard as I could, getting my whole body into it. I threw 2 pitches the whole day and felt it the rest of the day. Now, 63 mph is considered an extremely slow pitch in baseball. Maybe if I had some training and technique, I could get up to 70 mph by utilizing more leg drive. But all the same, just how ridiculously strong/genetically gifted do you have to be to throw 90+ on a regular basis, up to 100 times? How much of a toll does that take on your body?
• Fond childhood memory: coming to Great America for the 6th grade graduation field trip... and spending almost all day playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in one of the arcades with a few buddies. That's right, we paid money to get into the park... so we could put more money into video games. I was Raphael. I died a lot because his special move was to keep rolling into people.
• Remember when high school physics classes would have field trips to Great America to do physics studies in real life? Why can't all classes do that?
  

"Peace"

One of the reasons why these Olympics in particular are so fascinating is because of the diplomatic tensions that exist when two nation-states meet in sports competition (often used as an analogy for war) while their respective governments and armies may in fact be engaged in actual war. How can athletes from the former Soviet republic of Georgia compete against opponents from Russia while knowing of the invasion? What is going on in the minds of Israelis, Palestinians, Iraqis, Iranians, and Americans when they stare each other down across a swimming pool, ball field, or track? Will any big names come out in the press against the nations that are not doing anything about the genocide in Darfur?

A quote from the above article:

The Beijing Olympics have morphed into the anxiety games. Beneath the veneer of architectural miracles and omnipresent smiles and the "one world, one dream" slogan, there is unease, exacerbated by a secretive Communist regime that rations information. No info, no closure. There are 100,000 Chinese security troops patrolling Beijing, all standing as still as scarecrows, many with the young, porcelain faces of toy soldiers. They are stationed on every street corner, ubiquitous under newly planted trees that line the sidewalks. They are numerically impressive but not especially comforting.

I think this further illustrates the difference between what the world defines as peace, and what the God of the Bible defines as peace.

The former declares that peace exists as long as no shots are being fired. The absence of conflict. We smile awkwardly at each other, dampening down anxiety repeatedly while little glimpses of the resentment and uneasiness simmering underneath will peek through during times of stress. This happens in sports, it happens in workplaces, in marriages, in churches.

God desires peace to be so much more than the absence of conflict, but rather the presence of justice, wholeness, and acceptance. "Blessed are the peacemakers" - peace is something that needs to be worked at, not just achieved by having no conflict.

As a person who is non-confrontational by nature, it's often easy for me to settle for the first kind of peace - as long as there's no conflict, between Shally and myself, in church, in leadership, at work, at home, then things are "cool." However, I've been learning that it's not enough to just avoid confrontation - I need to actively work for wholeness, with heavy doses of grace, in order to bring all of my relationships into the kind of peace God has his heart set on for his people.

Thoughts on the Olympic Opening Ceremony

Observations, bullet-style:

• The sheer number of people involved powering all of the spectacles in the "history of China" is awe-inspiring. Who needs fancy technology when you can train people to supply your power?
• It's kind of neat to be reminded of the scope of China's ancient history and all the contributions to the world in the areas of culture, technology, etc.
  
• There are a lot of countries that I don't even recognize in the parade...
• "Chinese Taipei"?
• Yao walking in with the little boy who not only survived the Szechuan earthquake but saved the lives of a few of his classmates... that's a heartwarming story. If an athlete can be a significant public figure to drive change or be a symbol in a nation (like Muhammad Ali in the US), I think Yao is a good candidate for China.
• These fireworks probably aren't going to help the air quality...
• That was a pretty inventive torch lighting. Although, the whole way I was thinking for the guy, "Don't drop the torch... don't drop the torch..."

On asking for help

I've helped out at a lot of people's weddings.

Off the top of my head, I've been a best man, groomsman, special music, worship leader, sound tech, audio/visual setup, head usher, regular usher, candlelighter, gift mover, stagehand, getaway car driver, and slideshow narrator. Granted, I've never had to coordinate anything (that seems to be a female dominated role), but I basically know my way around the ins and outs.

My parents joke that for my wedding, I have a lot of favors to call in... but now that we're in the midst of trying to think of helpers, there's that familiar feeling of "bu yao ma fan" that comes up. During planning I joked that I could turn around on stage, pick up a guitar and lead worship... and I think I was only half joking.

I think I like to help out people I care about. I'm still learning how to ask for help from those same people.

China in the Olympics

The upcoming Olympic games hosted by China will give the rest of the world perhaps its first "in-depth" look into life there. It'll be interesting to see whether the unseemlier parts of China will get brought to the fore in the international media, like the smog (check out the pics here and here).

Yes, it would look really bad if athletes wear masks to compete outside, and some teams have apparently contemplated doing so over the objections from Chinese officials... but at some point a person's health takes priority over losing face, right? Maybe not in a nation that doesn't put a high value on individual human rights.

Apparently China also hasn't done well at following through on its promises that won them the Games in the first place - rather than cleaning things up from the root level, they've instead spent money on gorgeous new sporting facilities and giving behavior booklets to the locals.

I'm wondering whether China will attempt to censor any type of unflattering news that gets broadcast out of the country, and whether the worldwide media will comply. Should be a fascinating month.

Pre-Olympics Team USA thoughts

Aside: In case you didn't notice, dear reader, that my August output for posts is already an infinite multiple more than July with 0, I am trying an exercise for this month where I try to post once per day, or at least one post for each day. So, I should have at least 31 posts by the end of August. I can't promise that every, or any, will be that entertaining

Couple of short thoughts from watching Team USA take on a few other countries in exhibition games:

• Deron Williams may be the most effective player out there. He seems to make the right pass, right cut, right drive to the hoop, right decision nearly every possession - plus he is physically capable of going anywhere he wants to on the floor.
• While Chris Paul impressed me greatly in the NBA playoffs, he hasn't been able to do much in international play because he is getting bumped a lot more (refs are allowing more contact)
• The team already has problems rebounding - several teams, in and of themselves not that talented, have been able to get several extra possessions simply by stationing 2-3 big men in the paint and batting the ball up in the air. Leaving Tyson Chandler behind in favor of Boozer may end up biting the team in the butt.
• LeBron and Carmelo are not able to defend the PF position - not that they are that much smaller or less physically imposing than the guys they guard, but they're not smart enough to know when to reach, when to body up, and most problematically, when to slide over to provide help defense when a guard gets beat off the dribble.
• Given the short three-point line, it is imperative that the guards put in extra effort to prevent penetration because a kick-out results in a mid-range jumper for 3.
• What's with the weird pattern on the back of the jerseys?
• The coaching staff has clearly put the team through some drills on breaking the zone defense - sliding a forward to the free throw line in the middle of the zone, and having a big man lurking on the baseline for a dumpoff pass.
• Michael Redd is still the only deadeye shooter. Here's hoping 2-3 other guys will get hot each game.
• AK47 is a lot more versatile/crafty/aggressive when he's leading the Russia team than when he's playing 3rd/4th banana to Deron, Boozer, and Okur.
• So begins Lebron's quest to be the first basketball billionaire - by taking over China.

Other Olympics thoughts...
Did anyone see the news item a few weeks ago that China was trying to restrict the Olympic teams from bringing their own food items in order to stimulate traffic to local restaurants? Can you imagine being a world-class athlete deprived of your Gatorade and Powerbars in exchange for local food that might give you the runs?
Also, Bill sent me a link to an amusing article about how China has been legislating behavior and hygiene "improvements" for local residents - things like learning how to stand in line, no public spitting, no bare chests or rolling up pant legs, all for the purpose of presenting the best public image to the world.

On hope management

I read an article on leadership a while ago on Christianity Today where the writer, John Ortberg from Menlo Park Pres, makes the argument that while leaders need to do many things involving their followers in the process of leading - identifying gifts, putting people into positions to succeed, delegating their weaknesses - it is necessary that the leader never delegate optimism and hope. Leaders need to be experts in "Hope Management."

He writes this about former President Franklin Roosevelt, who was apparently a man with a "second-rate intelligence but had a first-rate temperament":

In the middle of a Great Depression, or World War II, or a capital campaign, or a staff crisis, people inevitably wonder: "Can we get through this? Is it worth all the effort and confusion? Can we really overcome this challenge?" They inevitably look to the person at the core; the man or woman leading the charge, the one who sees the big picture. When people see a leader with this kind of vital optimism, who radiates a sense that together we can do what needs to be done, then people tend to decide not to waste their energy wondering about "if" but focus their energy going after "how."

On the other hand, when Eeyore is at the helm, the whole ship is in trouble. Eeyore may be the most intelligent, gifted, attractive, educated, credentialed person in the room. But if he or she is easily deflated, sensitive to defeat and criticism, and de-motivated by setbacks, the whole community begins the long slow spiral downward.

He then mentions how his journals as a leader tend to be full of chronicles of failure - not confessions of shortcomings, but vague discouragements that don't allow him to feel forgiveness or grace from God and in fact would cause him to spiral deeper into discouragement. As he put it, instead of "encouraging himself in the Lord" like King David writes about in the Scriptures, he was "discouraging himself in the Lord."

This hits me deeply because I have been, through choice or necessity, been trying to take on greater leadership roles in several areas of my life. The challenge for me is that I've evolved to a point where I am generally optimistic and encouraging with other people, but generally negative and pessimistic about myself. In other words, I think or act like others are awesome ("You/we can do it!") perhaps more than is warranted, in the hope that they can exceed their capability; yet I will consciously or unconsciously degrade myself ("Bob, you failed before, and you're going to fail again, why not give up?").

I'm finding now how important it is to have, and to be, leaders who are not just competent, trustworthy, and possessing integrity, but if there is no hope, no belief that a goal can be accomplished, then every follower's spirit will be broken. I've seen this positively and negatively reinforced in my workplace, in church, and in my relationship - as a follower in some cases and as a leader in others. Even though it is sometimes exhausting to try and cling to an existing hope, or generate a new hope, I'm hoping that God will be able to supersede my natural cynicism to believe in spite of myself.

The end of one era

About 3 years ago, after living at home for nearly 5 years, I moved out to Mountain View with Chris and Hanlin in the "Kittoe House." It's been a blast... living with two Godly guys, being centrally located for small group and social events, cutting my commute in half, late night video games, potlucks, birthdays, barbeques, gearing up for hoops, date nights, movie nights, NBA games (including the Warriors playoff run), TV shows ranging from Lost to Iron Chef, conversations galore, and a million more memories.

As I get ready to move on to the next stage of my life with Shally in January, I've decided to move back to my parents' home at the end of August to spend some time with my current family before I begin my own. At some point I'll also need to begin finding a place for Shally and me to live as well. There are a good number of logistics to work out this month, but more than that, as a nostalgic person by nature, I'm still coming to terms with the end of this stage of my life. It's been a great 3 years with 2 great roommates - I believe we've been able to bless each other and bless others, which was our stated goal when we moved in together. I don't know who will be taking my place, especially considering Hanlin's own impending move-out, but I hope that the spirit of the Kittoe House tradition will live on somehow.

Proposal Story - Bob's side

Cliff's Notes Version
A summary for those in a rush or who have little patience for my periodic bouts of long-windedness (this means you, EricH ;-)). Skip down to the pics afterward.

On Wednesday, June 25, 2008, I took the day off work and got some help from Shally's sister to surprise Shally. I picked her up (she was definitely surprised to see me on a weekday afternoon), put a blindfold on her, and then drove up to Golden Gate Park, where we got engaged!

After spending some time in worship, prayer, and revisiting milestones and memories from our nearly-2-years of dating, we drove back to South Bay and had a celebratory dinner at La Fondue in Saratoga. We're currently aiming to have the wedding in January or February 2009, but that is subject to change as we begin planning.

Full Version
How did I decide on my plan?

I knew that I wanted to propose in a place that was local enough that we would be able to visit regularly in the upcoming years to come (an idea borrowed from Brian and Sherry's engagement story). So that ruled out doing something like proposing on our recent vacation to Taiwan. So, for all my friends who were laying down bets that we would come back from Taiwan engaged, that's the reason why... well, on top of the fact that I wasn't ready in May. However, I did talk to her parents and ask their permission during our time there, so it wasn't entirely devoid of engagement-related activity.

After a few weeks of working on another idea for a local spot (that I won't share here because it's now in the drawer of "potential future special occasion ideas"), I was casting about for another option. Inspiration struck while I was reading through some of the memories of our relationship in my journal - in summer of 2007, after her grad school semester had finished, we had taken a day trip to SF where we visited the Cartoon Art Museum and spent a relaxing afternoon reading books and talking together next to Stow Lake in Golden Gate Park. That was one of my fonder memories of 2007, so after doing some scouting I was able to identify the same secluded spot. So, the location was set.

I knew that I wanted it to be a surprise. This would be something of a challenge to pull off, however, since we had previously discussed engagement and so she had some inkling that I was planning something coming up soon. I was able to get around that by enlisting the help of her sister, who had a cute baby late last year and frequently invited Shal over to play with her niece. I asked her sister to schedule a playdate with Shal for a weekday afternoon, ensuring that she wouldn't be running errands or something when I went to go pick her up, and filed to take the day off.

After waking up early on the big day and spending some time with God to calm an anxious heart and nerves, I gathered all the details together. Ipod with her favorite songs on a playlist for the drive. Guitar and music. A timeline of significant events/dates/conversations from the nearly-two years of our relationship. A light picnic lunch. Change of clothes. Camera and tripod. A reed mat to sit on. Jackets/blankets for the chill of SF.

Roses - incidentally, this was the first time I ever gave her red roses - past gifts were other colors. Just one of those things that I wanted to save for engagement.

Obviously, can't forget the ring. If you look at the picture on her blog, you'll see that it's non-traditional. This is a promise ring, with a more traditional-looking one coming later.

After getting the call from her sister that Shally had arrived, I parked my car well away from the window and snuck up to the door. I had arranged with her sister to have her ask Shally to answer the doorbell, expecting a package. When she opened the door, the effort into planning the surprise was worth it - her eyes widened as she straightened up in shock, she mumbled a few unintelligble syllables, and she stumbled backwards while her hands flailed slightly in front of her as comprehension slowly dawned on her face. I figure this is one of those moments in life you don't really forget.

To keep the surprise going, I put a blindfold on her and led her out to the car (after she spent some time playfully berating her sister for being in on it), where we drove up to the City while I deflected questions about where we were going. She even suggested that this might all be an elaborate decoy so that the real proposal would be a real surprise.

Arriving at the park, I left her in the car while I went to set up the mat and other items. Fortunately, the park is relatively empty on weekday afternoons, and we were able to enjoy some privacy. Taking off the blindfold, I presented her with the roses, said a few words (fewer than I had rehearsed earlier in my mind, as my brain went into lockdown mode seeing everything come to fruition), and asked her to marry me. Lucky for me, she said yes. And to answer one of the common questions I've been getting, she didn't shed tears when I asked.

We spent some sweet time in musical worship next to the lake - just my guitar and our two voices, singing songs of God's greatness, our wonder at his desire to have a relationship with us, and our desire to serve him as a couple. It occured to me - having served as a worship leader for most of this decade, one of the things I've learned/observed has been that as much as I might strive to lead a congregation into the experience and presence of God in a life-changing way through music, ultimately my efforts only had so much influence on whether people would in fact open themselves up to God. I realized that day that I would be taking on a new role and a higher level of responsibility as the worship leader in my family - that God charges me to identify how best to lead, encourage, support, rebuke, and love my wife and (hopefully) children in such a way that they would be able to love God and be loved by him. Kinda scary, but kinda cool at the same time.

We spent some time in prayer - sharing our joy with God, our thankfulness that he brought us together and grew us through tough times and good times, our fears and dreams for the future. Shally did shed some tears during this segment.

Affter some more time at the lake, we reluctantly packed up and made our way back to South Bay to change and go to the celebratory dinner at La Fondue - a first-time visit for both of us (at least for dinner). Very nice ambiance, and for future reference, buffalo meat is really tasty. After dinner, we visited my folks, her sister/bro-in-law, and then retired for the evening, resolving to begin notifying other friends and family the next day.

I have a fiancee. Wow!

In the week since, and particularly in the first few days after, even in the midst of some extreme busyness at work, I periodically found myself suddenly smiling at the thought of being able to build a life together with this wonderful, Godly woman. Tim Keller, in his sermon series on marriage, uses the analogy that a dating/marriage relationship is kind of like a semi truck or heavy train going over a bridge - the weight of the relationship reveals the cracks in the foundation of the bridge, but also serves as a test for the built-in strength. Before we began our relationship, it was much easier to be willfully ignorant of the cracks in my character that I wasn't allowing God the space to patch. It was also easier to have a hardened heart and to present a stoic facade to the world, without dealing with unprocessed emotions. I've learned that the great battle I'll have to face in myself, probably for the rest of my life, is against apathy/inaction/loafing - I've hurt more people through my lack of action than with my action. In the relationship, I've grown to have a greater appreciation for the Gospel cycle or the drama of salvation, seeing it not just in the pages of the Bible, but seeing it lived out in our lives - times of peace/harmony/fun, interrupted by sin and offense, dealing with estrangement, reaching out for redemption and reconciliation, and restoring peace. I'm delighted to look forward to marriage with someone who knows how best to support me when I'm frustrated or under stress, who helps challenge me with her dream to honor God and bless people through our service and possessions, and who is simply a lot of fun to be around. I'm fascinated by the glimpses God has given me of the person he is making Shally to be, and I want to help bring that about.

Pictures

The spot next to the lake where we got engaged:



Roses and the ring:



My future bride and me:



Check out her blog for details on the big day from her perspective!

On turning 30

A recurring nightmare that I have is dreaming that I'm back in college. It's near the end of the year, finals are coming up, and I just realized that I've been enrolled in a hard class for the entire semester without knowing it or attending any class. The entire dream is spent in a gradually increasing state of anxiety, panic, and spiralling despair as I frantically try to find the appropriate textbook and read up on as much as possible before the final the next day, while knowing full well the futility of trying to do so.

I sometimes feel this way as I think about hitting 30 years of age.

One of my character flaws / natural bents is to compare myself to others, in particular my peers. This usually isn't for the purpose of building up my ego by seeing if I'm better than my others, but rather to see how I'm falling behind in some area that I should be current or mature in at my stage of life, compared to those around me.

I see more and more friends younger than me on Facebook or LinkedIn with "Senior," or "Lead," and in some cases even "Vice" or "Chief" or "Co-Founder" in front of their job titles and wonder if I'm falling behind where I should be in my career. Am I ambitious enough? Is there career growth available for me at my current job? When I was younger in my career, I could safely rely on the mentality of "Doing whatever is needed because I'm still junior and just trying to establish myself," but as I mature professionally it becomes more and more clear that it is necessary to become a subject matter expert.

I see the long list of "life maintenance" responsibilities I need to learn or just do - for example, taking greater control of my personal finances, basic investments, working out more regularly (to offset the sore back and knees I often have after basketball on Sundays, and to just have better overall health) - and I wonder why I haven't developed good knowledge or habits in these areas yet when it seems like others have.

I wonder whether I'm obedient to the purpose God made me for. Doing a word search on "thirty years" on Biblegateway shows that a couple of significant people in the Bible stepped up to the most important work of their lives starting at age 30:

Joseph had already gone through the betrayal from his brothers, been imprisoned unjustly for a crime he didn't commit (making a pass at someone else's wife), and at age 30 became the right-hand man of Pharaoh where he would be the instrument of Israel's deliverance in the upcoming famine.

David had already cultivated a soft heart for God while minding the sheep and fighting off lions and bears, become a master musician/poet and warrior, and eventually became king over Israel at age 30, reigning for 40 years and setting the standard that every successive king couldn't match.

Jesus began his ministry at age 30 and lived perhaps the most significant 3 years of any human lifespan.

It's really easy to look back at the last decade and think about all the regrets, opportunities not taken, potential not realized. Why didn't I study harder in college? Should I have gone to grad school? Should I have travelled more? Did I effectively invest in people? Why did I lose touch with so many family and friends? Did I waste some of the prime years of my physical health and mental agility?

It's also really easy to look at where I am now and allow fear to be a really significant thing in my life. Taking a warning from the story of King Saul, another Biblical 30-year old who was woefully underprepared/unqualified for the business of leading a nation when he first took the throne, I have a perception in my head of how far behind the curve I am. It's then very easy for my heart to make the connection that God will only meet me once I shape up and catch up to where I should be - until then, I don't really deserve having him around in my life.

It's so easy to believe this lie.

Dr. Andy had a good quote today: "Comparison is the tool of the devil."

It takes a conscious act on my part to break through the lies wired between my heart and head - to not give in to fear, self-pity, regret, anxiety, and everything else associated with feeling "left behind by life" because these are things Jesus seeks to free me from.

I see the significant experiences and lessons from the last 10 years - graduating from college, job experience from the smallest startup to one of the largest, developing new and significant friendships through church and work, moving away from home, learning leadership principles in different contexts, understanding more about God and how to be obedient in my life to him, being in a relationship that has served as an agent of personal growth as well as a lot of fun - and I am grateful.

I look at the snapshot of my life now - good health, uncomplicated financial situation, opportunities, a personal and intimate God who loves me and even likes me, a girlfriend and friends and family who seem to enjoy having me around, even though I can be a dork sometimes - and I am grateful for that as well.

In closing... I know that the part of me that I don't like very much is going to continue periodically browbeating my spirit into thinking less of myself. I can only cling to the promise that the more I seek God's help in breaking the power of my self-criticism, through confession, reflection, and thanksgiving, that this voice will get quieter and quieter. Turning 30 is a significant milestone. As Danny put it, it's entering the "Jesus Years (30-33)." I probably won't have a 30th year like Jesus, or David's, or Joseph's, but let's see what God will do with my 4th decade on earth.

Thanks for the bday wishes...

Running list of folks:

PDan, parents, bro, Shally, Wilma, Summer, Maria, JohnnyC, AndrewN, LauraD, SamH, Crystal, Phuoc, AndrewM, AndrewW, AmyL, [running list]

and everyone tagged on this note on Facebook (idea stolen from DaveC, or was it MichaelC?)

Thanks for brightening my day!

Taiwan recap

I had a pretty crummy time in Taiwan. First I got arrested:


Then I had an encounter with death:

Fortunately, like the proverbial Ghosts of Christmas Past/Present/Future, Death was only bringing me a warning - not to drink and drive or something like that. Kinda spooky that it was addressed directly to me in a subway station.


Overall, my first visit back to the land of my fathers (and mothers) was a lot of fun, somewhat profound in some ways, and definitely quite fattening. I'm not sure whether my Chinese got much better though. Some highlights:

Meeting family
We (Shally and I) spent some time with her mom's side of the family in Taizhong as well as my mom's and dad's sides of the family in Taipei.

I have a huge extended family. My mom has 11 siblings (one younger brother passed away in recent years) and my dad has six, so I have aunts/uncles/cousins that I literally have never met, and the ones that I have, I may have not seen in the 20 years since my last visit to Taiwan. I think that the magnitude of the size of my family has made me almost reluctant to develop good friendships with even the cousins near my own age, especially considering the wide social network I've developed through collegiate and church experiences. I felt that there were too many people to try and get to know.

In Taiwan, it was surreal and kind of disappointing to me that I hadn't even made a cursory effort to know my own flesh and blood. My mom's side threw a family reunion-type dinner party at a swank Western-style steakhouse, and afterward the cousins around my own age took Shal, myself, and my other cousin from the US (and his gf) up to the top of Yangmingshan to check out the view and chat about life over drinks. I got to get a glimpse of the lives of my relatives - hearing about some of the triumphs, the close ties my cousins had hanging out with each other, relationships, the life disappointments, the bad habits, little idiosyncrasies, and somewhere in the midst of observing everything, I realized I had missed out.

Honestly, I'm not yet sure what to do with this realization.

The day after, I got to see where my dad grew up. My dad happened to be in Taiwan the same week we were, and had a free morning where he was able to show us around the neighborhood he grew up. I got to hear stories about how, as a junior higher, he helped lay the foundation for the house his family would grow up in - 2.5 floors of cement, plaster, constantly being remodeled for the needs of 7 children and eventually some grandchildren, as well as my aging grandparents. I vaguely remembered the living room where I first got to play Contra on the old red-and-white 8-bit Nintendo system, and learned the Code of 30 Lives and Awesomeness. I saw the room where my dad grew up as a kid (it's now part of the kitchen as part of the constant remodeling referred to earlier). I saw the furniture set my parents used when they got married. I saw the graduation pics of my parents and aunts and uncles and marveled at how young they looked. I got to see my great aunt/great uncle on both my grandpa's and grandma's side. I tried to picture living my dad's life in a cramped Taiwanese neighborhood, living in a house I helped build, enduring the legendary cram schools and military service and then finally immigrating to America.

I think family showed me that life is a much more complex thing than I can possibly imagine. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it. Don't know if I ever will.

Meeting a random American traveler
Being an inexperienced traveler, I've heard stories of friends who met fascinating people while on vacation from all manner of nationality and walks of life. While visiting the gondola ride in the mountains of Maokong, Shal and I got the chance to meet and hang out with Cynthia, a woman in town for a semiconductor conference who was heading back to DC the day after. After sharing a cab in the pouring rain and finding out we were using the same Lonely Planet guide to find the same teahouse, we got to chat about our respective backgrounds, the history of Taiwan/China tensions, and the traveling habits of Europeans. We then went for a short hike in the freshly-rained jungle on the mountain and promptly got lost. It seriously did feel like an episode of "Lost," as we slid down muddy semi-paths clinging to trees and tried to decipher hastily scrawled danger signs written by former (less-fortunate?) hikers on scraps of cloth, all the while mildly panicking that the sun was going down and no one knew we were there. We then got to ride the gondola down, relax, and enjoy the view. Altogether an unforgettable experience.

Food
Much food was consumed on this trip, in keeping with the legendary reputation the country has for tasty and cheap comestibles from street vendors to homey mom-and-pop shops. You can see photos of most of what we ate on my Facebook album (if you're a Friend of mine on FB), but here are a few notables...

Foods I had never eaten before this trip (as far as I can remember):
1. durrian - not as bad as I thought it would be based on smell, but no more
2. black sesame dumplings - think shao long bao (soup dumplings) but stuffed with a sweet black sesame paste for dessert. This was absolutely delicious and doesn't appear to be available in the US. I think this was Shally's favorite dish the entire trip.
3. ba wan - glutinous stuff with meat and preserved veggies from a night market. Not bad.
4. lien wu - a fruit that reminded me of a cross between an apple's coloring and a pear's shape, with a crisp texture... apparently you can only get this in Taiwan
5. oyster egg pancake (ou-ah jen) - we had fresh oysters at a different restaurant that tasted better than oysters in the states (I don't typically like them), but the ones in our oyster pancake were mediocre.

Top 5 Favorite Taiwanese foods in no particular order:

1. Fan Tuan - this is a nice breakfast



2. Shally's grandma's lion's head meatballs - apparently this was the first time she had made them in like 8 years, and no one has yet been able to replicate them



3. black sesame steamed dumpling dessert



4. Ice monster shaved ice - I have something of a sweet tooth, so the enhanced sweetness of Taiwan mangos (compared to American ones) was right up my alley



5. Very big fried chicken - they took a thigh, pounded it out flat, and seasoned it, breaded it, and gave it a light frying. The line for this at the Shilin night market went out to the street, clearly the most popular food item in the entire market.



Miscellaneous other significant experiences/observations

Coming from a Taiwanese home and a predominantly Taiwanese church, I've been around quite a few Taiwanese people. This probably explains why everywhere I looked, I saw someone that looked like someone else - I was constantly nudging Shal and saying "That woman looks like so-and-so's mom!" and "That guy reminds me of somebody!" I guess God just used 4-5 face templates when making Taiwanese people and just did little tweaks.

I like the fact that most of the eateries in Taiwan are mom-and-pop joints rather than chain restaurants. It gives the country so much more character. However, as delicious as the street food may be, both Shally and I experienced some gastronomic issues the first few days back (although this may have been due to plane food).

Seeing the display in the National Palace Museum describing the millenia-long history of the religions of Buddhism, Islam, Taoism, and Confucianism, and their impact on Asian philosophy and sociology, helped drive home for me that the world is much bigger and older than my American mind learned about in school (the world began around 200 years ago when we decided to leave the British, right?).

Bullet train from Taizhong to Taipei. So that's what going 186 mph at ground level feels like.

Shally's six-month-old niece's delight at getting a whole hotel bed to play on. That might be the definition of pure, unadulterated joy.

Dinner with Shally's missionary friends and JT/Ring - an entire mealtime conversation about relationships. Finally heard about how JT and Ring got together.

Karaok'ing with JT and Ring at a Cashbox. Man, they're nicer than in the States... too bad the selection of English songs is pretty limited. Since it was a smaller group than the typical 10-15 that go out here, I felt a bit emboldened to try going solo on "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday" by Boyz II Men and "Change the World" by Eric Clapton.

Conversation with my cousin Mario, who grew up in LA and the Bay Area and is now teaching English in Taipei. He said that basketball players there tend to call a lot of ticky tack fouls and seem to think an unimpeded dribbling path is a right. I would probably get pretty frustrated playing there.

Visiting Taipei 101.

Reading Moneyball by Michael Lewis and getting about 1/3 of the way through Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. The latter has been a really good read about Christianity and reflects a lot of things that I had been planning to write about at some point.

On the plane, watched "I Am Legend" with Will Smith (not bad) and "Jumper" with Anakin and Mace Windu from Episodes 1-3 (skip the movie)

And that's all I've got to say about that.

...

One last thing... 'twas Shally and my first trip overseas together, and that was a lot of fun.

Back to the motherland

It's been over 20 years since I've been to Taiwan, where my parents and ancestors came from. My parents didn't really emphasize the history/culture/politics of the country growing up, so I only heard about some of the differences between Taiwanese and Chinese culture in passing at church or among a few friends who had a lot more nationalistic pride than I did.

It's been quite fascinating to read the Lonely Planet guide and see the cultural and political history of this country, ranging from the aboriginal tribes, the first immigrants from the mainland, Japanese occupation, the group that came over with Generalissimo Chiang Kai-Shek, the military dictatorship, and then the ongoing tensions with China and recent political and economic reforms. I've come to understand a little bit more why some of my friends and relatives identify themselves so fervently as Taiwanese, why the elders at my Taiwanese church are opposed to removing "Taiwanese" from the name of our church... it really does come down to a deep-seated identity issue.

I'll be there for a week starting tomorrow with Shally, meeting up with relatives that I either haven't seen in 20 years (aunts and uncles) or have never met (cousins), hanging out with some friends and other cousins, and doing a little bit of sightseeing. I'll see about updating every so often over the next week.

Oh yeah, I hear the food's pretty good too.

$106 a Day

Seeing as how many of my friends are avid Food Network watchers, many have seen Rachael Ray's popular "$40 a Day" show where she explores the sights and food of a different city without going over a self-imposed budget of 2 $20 bills. While it's fun to see the different local hole-in-the-wall places she'll visit in each show, the frugal Asian in each of us invariably grumbles that $40 is an awful lot of money to drop on food in a day when we're good at finding $4 breakfast pastries, $7 sandwich lunches, and maybe $15 entrees - at most! - for dinner while on vacation. Heck, when not on vacation, I personally try to set a guideline of approximately $5 a meal while trying to eat relatively healthy, so many of my lunches during the week are a $2.33 (including tax) self-assembled salad, a small handful of chips (brought from home), and a grapefruit juice (free from the company).

A while ago I came across a few articles talking about the heady per diem given to NBA players during the season when the team is on a road trip. The current Collective Bargaining Agreement between the players' union and the league provides - get this - $106 a day for food and other knicknacks while on the road. $106!

Here's what one former NBA player does with that much money:

We get per diem. At the beginning of each road trip we receive an envelope containing our per diem—a cash allotment meant to cover the cost of our meals on the road. I LOVE PER DIEM. By some formula detailed in the Collective Bargaining Agreement we get $99 dollars per diem (each day) on the road. It is wonderfully ridiculous. It is true that I COULD spend a hundred dollars a day on food, but it would take quite an appetite. Especially considering that I have adopted Subway as my restaurant of choice on the road. Unable to eat 20 foot-long subs each day on the road, I invariably end up with some extra cash in my pocket—which mysteriously migrates to my wife’s wallet as soon as I get home! During my first year in the league, I actually paid my RENT with my per diem.

Another excerpt from a different article:

Players can use the money as they choose. They can order room service at a ritzy hotel, which could set them back more than $80 for a meal...

"Man, we gamble away that money right away on the plane," said Nuggets guard DerMarr Johnson, referring to high-stakes card games. "We put it right into the gambling pot."

Nuggets forward Reggie Evans recently dropped $85 for a room service afternoon steak at the swank Four Seasons Hotel San Francisco.

Portland Trail Blazers center Jamaal Magloire spent more than $80 last week for a room service steak at The Westin Tabor Center.

Considering so many NBA players love the Cheesecake Factory, you can get quite a lot of salmon with teriyaki rice plates with the per diem.

What would you do with that much money for food every day?

On sports fandom

As we shared about how our respective fandoms were causing personal emotional stress, Byron brought up the question: Why do we invest so much time and emotions into being fans of sports teams when we have no influence on their winning and losing (and subsequently our levels of utter despair or blissful euphoria)? In a sense it's almost like gambling - pick a color, whether it be silver and black or purple and gold, and put your emotional chips on the square and see if you win. Granted, some squares may have greater odds of winning, but ultimately we don't have a say. Right?

While writing this, though, I realized that there is a difference between being a TV/internet fan and a live fan. Pastors like to teach that your mind is shaped by what you put into it, so watching sports on TV and following it online will in fact increase your understanding of the game and the team. I can now watch the Lakers and explain the triangle offense, I've read interviews that say Chris Paul is the nicest guy off the court but one mean SOB on it. Reading about and watching the NBA playoffs helps me become a better basketball fan. However, this is also where we can fall into irrationality and futility with our emotions being dictated by events that we can only analyze, but can't influence.

The flip side is being a fan who actually goes to games. I will never forget game 4 of the Mavs-Warriors in 2007, where the crowd was not passively and analytically observing the action on the floor. We lifted our team. We willed them to the win in that game. Being in the stands, it did not feel like gambling with my emotions, because in some small way I could influence what happened on the floor.

Conclusion? I don't really like me when I get overly upset over bad games when I watch the Spurs and Warriors. Just recently my parents and Shally were able to witness my temper tantrum ("... and pouting" - Shally) after game 2 of the Hornets and Spurs 2nd round series on TNT. I figure that as I get older, unless I decide to spring for Warriors season tickets, I'll eventually evolve into more of a basketball fan rather than having my emotions virtually tied to the ups and downs of a single team via the chains of media. The brief moments of euphoria are too fleeting compared to the disappointment that will happen for every team except for one, every year.

On a related note, what's your NBA 2008 playoff nickname? Mine's "Rat Phunk." I also got "The Hydrant," "The Human Doormat," and "The Ostrich." Hm, not very flattering.

Quick round 2 thoughts

Hornets-Spurs

Back at the beginning of the year, I picked out the Hornets-Warriors game for Shally and me to go to as our first Oracle Arena experience of the '07-'08 season. When I bought the tickets, my reasoning went something like this:

- the Hornets ought to be one of the teams battling the Warriors for the last playoff spot (based on their out-of-the-playoffs finish in '06-'07), so it should be competitive
- good PG play and passing is always fun to watch, even for the casual fan

Little did I know that the Hornets squad would springboard off that win to go 35-15 in 2008 and turn into one of the elite teams in the West.

Watching Chris Paul last year, he clearly had talent, but you could play off of him to force him to take an inconsistent jumper, and you could go at him on defense. To his credit, he's put in the work on his outside shot to make it competent and turn him into an unstoppable offensive weapon.

Not only that, the Hornets' fun style of play (offensive efficiency and defensive scrambling) has even turned Shally into a fan... so while I'm kicking chairs and muttering under my breath as they dismantle the Spurs, I guess there's two edges of silver lining:
1) these playoffs may help turn my gf into a basketball fan
2) once the emotions die down, the Hornets are extremely fun to watch

Incidentally, for you guy sports fans, if you could only choose one, would you rather your significant other enjoy watching sports with you, or enjoy doing some other typically guy-centric activity (like video games) with you?

Lakers-Jazz

As a Bay Area guy, I'm trying really hard to despise the Lakers. I really am. I can remember the early part of this decade when Shaq, Rick Fox, and Floppin' Fisher would would raise my ire just thinking about their obvious disdain and lack of respect for other teams in the league (rather similar to what the Pistons have become, actually).

Thing is... this Lakers team is really fun to watch.

Their interior passing is exquisite. Gasol is tailor-made for the triangle offense (thanks again to Lakers GM Chris Wallace... yup, you heard me), Odom looks rejuvenated when he doesn't have to pull up for 15-foot bricks and can just focus on rebounding, passing, and driving to the hoop, and Kobe has clearly matured into a guy who knows when to elevate his teammates and when to take over.

The Jazz, despite their knocking off the Warriors last year, is another enjoyably efficient team to watch. Honestly, as a basketball fan, I'd be pretty pleased with any of the Western Conference squads repping the West in the Finals.

Eastern Conference

Compared to the West, offensive execution has been awfully lacking so far. Go Magic. Go Celts. That is all.

NBA Playoffs round 1 - Eastern Conference

EASTERN CONFERENCE

#1 Celtics vs. #8 Hawks
What I'm looking for:
Matchups will determine whether the Hawks can win 1 game in this series. If I were Woodson, I'd consider putting Josh Smith on Perkins (not really an offensive threat) to allow him to roam and block shots, since straight up man defense is a weakness. Joe Johnson and Allen should cancel each other out, but the Celts have demonstrated advantages at SF and PF.

I have to admit, I've enjoyed watching the Celts this year. I've always maintained the Warriors should have drafted Pierce the year they swapped Vince for Jamison (interesting that Jamison has turned out to be the better player after all), and he's been playing within the system without devolving into too much 1-1 play. KG has elevated the entire defense, and while I wish he'd play in the low post more to take advantage of his ridiculous athleticism and length, he seems to have found the perfect fit for his skill set.

Plus, you just know that Cassell is going to have at least one monster clutch performance this offseason.

On the Hawks, Horford is a beast, but still has a lot of growing up and learning to do.

Favorite plays
Celtics: They have a beautiful set play where KG flashes to the high post, receives the entry pass from Rondo, draws the attention of both post players, and then slips a dump off pass to Perkins for the dunk.
Hawks: Haven't watched them much, so I'll just say any time Josh Smith is on the run in the open floor, either chasing down a breakway for a block or swooping in for his own monster dunk.

Who I'm rooting for:
Celtics. They have Leon Powe. Go Bears!

#2 Pistons vs. #7 Sixers
What I'm looking for:
I should like the Pistons. I rooted for them against the Shaq-Kobe-Karl-Payton Lakers. They play solid, fundamental, smart basketball, with good defensive rotations and a versatile offensive system featuring Rip running off multiple screens. Plus, Tayshaun is one of my favorite players to watch. Their bench is deeper than it's ever been (Maxiell's block of a Chandler alley-oop a few weeks ago is one of the best blocks I've ever seen). So why do I root against the Pistons?

Arrogance.

It feels like their whole attitude the past few seasons has been that they were obviously the best team, they just "beat themselves." Refusing to give credit to the teams that beat them, is highly irritating. This primarily comes from Sheed (he who has never committed a foul, in his mind). So, while I want to see the Pistons take on the Celts, Cavs, Wizards, or Magic, I won't really be rooting for them that hard against these Sixers... who, by the way, looked really awful when we went to see them against the Warriors.

Favorite plays
Pistons: He might not get much of a chance in this series with Igoudala (a decent defender) on him, but I enjoy watching Tayshaun in the post - his baby hook looks like a praying mantis reaching out and grabbing its prey.
Sixers: I can't think of anything, so I'll just look for some growth from the other AI on this big stage.

Who I'm rooting for:
Pistons. I'd like to see them advance to get taken down by the Celts, Cavs, or Magic (maybe the Wizards if they get by Cleveland).

#3 Magic vs. #6 Raptors
What I'm looking for:
The Raptors don't excite me that much. Bosh was severely unimpressive in national team play. I am interested to see how Calderon plays since I haven't gotten that much of a chance to watch him.

The thing with the Magic is that when you watch, you can't help but be drawn to the huge muscleman in the middle. You never know when he's going to do something spectacular. I'm looking forward to the battles he'll have with Yao and Oden over the next 10 years.

Favorite plays
Magic: Hedo to Superman for the alley-oop. Dwight's height, strength, and leaping ability almost makes it unfair.

Raptors: Can't think of anything here either, but I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised by Calderon.

Who I'm rooting for:
Magic.

#4 Cavs vs. #5 Wizards
What I'm looking for:
Two seasons ago, this was one of the most entertaining playoff series. Agent Zero and Lebron took it to an HNL ('hole 'notha level - thanks to youth group's Sam Chen) in their mano-a-mano duel, with Lebron winning out with what may have been a travel. This year, Gilbert isn't fully healthy and will come off the bench, Lebron is also hurting. Plus, Caron has became a full-fledged superstar (I'm sure Laker fans aren't nearly as pissed now since it they eventually swapped Shaq for Gasol and Odom, which ain't a bad return at all) and Jamison has turned out to be better than I thought.

With Lebron hurting, the Cavs need someone else to step up on offense. Former Warrior #1 Joe Smith (grrrr), Wally Sza;adlfjwer, Boobie, Bond villain Zydrunas, whoever it might be. The Wizards might have too many weapons otherwise.

Favorite plays
Cavs: With Lebron hurting, hopefully Coach Brown can find some ways to get him easy buckets on the break or catching the ball in the half court going towards the hoop rather than starting from a standstill each time, requiring him to bulldoze through the entire Wiz D.

Wiz: There's something aesthetically amusing about the Jamison flip shot now that he's not on the Warriors anymore.

Who I'm rooting for:
Cavs. Even though the Wizards might be on a better roll right now, it'd be fun to see Lebron potentially single-handedly destroy one of the other East title hopefuls.

Bring on the playoffs!

NBA Playoffs round 1 - Western Conference

The playoffs start tomorrow! Basketball on almost every night for the next 1.5 months... I'm stoked. Here are some thoughts on the individual series...

Since there are plenty of other sites with better breakdowns, analysis, and predictions of each matchup, I'll write from the perspective of things I'm looking for (strategy, matchups, favorite plays and players) and who I'm rooting for in each series.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

#1 Lakers vs. #8 Warriors
Wait... doh. It was a pretty good season overall, nonetheless.

#1 Lakers vs. #8 Nuggets
What I'm looking for:
Fisher can't stick with AI. Neither Walton nor Odom can guard Carmelo either, so coach Phil will have to be selective on who to guard when he sics Kobe in critical defensive situations, depending on whether AI or Melo is hot at the time.

Meanwhile, the Nuggets are horrible on D - "getting bailed out by a help shot blocker" in Camby does not qualify as even passable effort. I expect high scores throughout this series, and for the Lakers to put on a passing clinic that will be aesthetically pleasing. Odom/Kobe should be able to penetrate into the lane and dish short to Gasol for jumpers and layups, or to Fisher/Walton/Farmar/Vujacic for open 3s.

Favorite plays
Lakers: The triangle offense when it's being executed efficiently (and it will be in this series, considering the Nuggets D).
Nuggets: Carmelo going one-on-one from the wing against any defender - he has the best arsenal of weapons from the triple threat position: jab step, up fakes, step-backs, and an explosive first step.

Who I'm rooting for:
Lakers. The Nuggets have often ranked among my least favorite teams because of their tendency to play only 1-1 on offense, not playing any defense, and generally having an overall arrogant, individualistic attitude epitomized by Kenyon. Plus, the Nuggets beat out the Warriors, and I'm feeling just a bit petty.

#2 Hornets vs. #7 Mavericks
What I'm looking for:
Chris Paul is one of my favorite players to watch in the league. Shally (who thinks he looks like Carlton from Fresh Prince) and I had the chance to see him carve up the Warriors when they came to Oracle in February and he was positively textbook in his decision-making on the offensive end, doing an OK job on defense against Monta, and coming up with clutch plays on both ends in the 4th quarter. He gets into the lane so easily because of his quickness and handle, and when he does, it's fascinating to see him make snap judgments whether to fade away, shoot a floater, find Chandler underneath for an alley-oop, or to spin in mid-air and toss a pin-point pass to Stojakovic or West for the jumper.

Kidd's lost a step and will need help guarding Paul in this series, but the Mavs have looked better as he's gotten more comfortable. Nowitzki no longer has to create for himself or for others every trip down the floor, and has wide open 17-ftrs (read: layups) quite often now.

I'm hoping for USA Basketball to take this series' PGs to Beijing this summer.

Favorite plays
Hornets: Chris Paul doing anything, but in particular the short alleyoops to Chandler after drawing two or more defenders in the lane.
Mavericks: Pick and roll with Kidd and Nowitzki in order to get a shorter defender switched onto Dirk, who can then back in or shoot over the top unimpeded.

Who I'm rooting for:
I can go either way on this one. The Mavericks might be a tougher/more intriguing matching up later in the playoffs, but the Hornets are more fun to watch. I'll pick the Hornets here.

#3 Spurs vs. #6 Suns
What I'm looking for:
For all those that vilify Manu for flopping... he primarily flops on offense in attempts to get foul calls. Raja Bell? He is a defensive flopper (a la Fisher, who robbed the Warriors of a chance at a win a few weeks ago by pulling Monta down and getting the foul called on Monta), and defensive flopping is far more irritating to me than offensive flopper.

Anyway, this is clearly the most evenly-matched and highest-quality first round matchup. Even though they have the home court advantage, I see the Spurs as the underdog in this one due to their injury problems and the fact that they've been playing pretty bad the last few weeks.

Favorite plays
Spurs: Since Shaq is most comfortable defending a back-to-the-basket post player, I'd expect the Spurs to bring Duncan out to set screens for Parker and Ginobili more often to force Shaq away from the lane. I'm curious to see whether Duncan matches up with Shaq or Amare most of the time.

Suns: The set offense starting with the Amare-Nash pick and roll is one of the most devastating yet simple basketball plays to watch, all centered on Nash's decision-making ability - drop to the roller, drive it in, kick it to a shooter, or take the shot himself?

Who I'm rooting for:
If you know me... you should know the answer to this one.

#4 Jazz vs. #5 Rockets
What I'm looking for:
Deron Williams is another one of my favorite players to watch in the league - his systematic dismantling of the Warriors and then the Spurs in last year's playoffs left quite the impression on me. He, Boozer, Okur, AK47, and Korver will still have to execute perfectly to score against the super-solid Rockets D. I expect Battier to spend much of his time matched up with Deron since AK47 isn't as much of an offensive threat. I'm also curious to see whether Adelman will trot out Mutombo or Hayes to match up with Boozer, since the other will need to chase Okur around the perimeter. One possibility is to play Mutombo (matched up with Boozer) and have Scola chase Okur around, providing more of an offensive weapon on the other side of the court.

Favorite plays
Rockets: Will T-Mac be disciplined enough to test AK47 off the dribble rather than settling for long jump shots that are easily contested? If so the Jazz don't have any other shot blockers once he gets to the rim.

Jazz: Since everyone knows about the Deron-Boozer pick and roll, I'll want to see some sets featuring AK47 as the decision-maker to force T-Mac to play some defense as well.

Who I'm rooting for:
Jazz. They're more fun to watch and have a textbook offensive system to study.

Eastern Conference in my next post...

Notes on Tim Keller's lecture "Belief in an Age of Skepticism"

About a month ago, I attended a Veritas lecture at Stanford by Rev. Tim Keller from Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC about "The Reason for God." In short, I found it to be a good synopsis of some common apologetics arguments phrased in a much more eloquent and educated way than I could ever come up with. The lecture and subsequent Q&A session can be found online at Google Video, but since I remember best when I take notes, I took the liberty of outlining the lecture below along with video references. You can check out the notes and pick and choose sections of each video to watch if you don't have time to see the whole thing.

Feel free to comment if there are any ideas that you want to discuss...

Tim Keller - "Belief in an Age of Skepticism" - Lecture 2008-03-05
Reasons for God
I) Why important?
II) How does it work?
III) What are those reasons?

I) Why important? (1:40-8:10)
Important for skeptic because:
- Robust orthodox belief in God is not diminishing but is in fact believing, despite the belief that as society became more sophisticated/advanced, less interest in God (secularization thesis)
-- in Asia/Africa, Christianity/Islam expanding like crazy - ex. Korea 1-40%, China more Christians than in US, 2 million US Episcopalians, 17 million in Nigeria
- in pluralistic society, in order to get around, must put ourselves into each others' shoes and understand why we/they believe
- new atheism (Dawkins) - respect for religion is bad

Important for believer because:
- if you admit and deal with doubts, your foundation is strengthened when troubles come

II) How does it work? (8:10-15:20)
Three reasons:
1) intellectual - see part 3

2) interpreted personal experience
ex. tragedies
- interpretation 1 - "I can't handle life alone, I need God"
- interpretation 2 - "I don't want a God who lets this happen"

ex. made it to the top
- interpretation 1 - "Who needs God?"
- interpretation 2 - "I've made it to the top and I still feel empty"

3) social
- sociology of knowledge - your community (ppl you need and admire) determines what you want to believe
- "If you were born in Madagascar, you wouldn't be a Christian!" = I have thought things out, you are a product of your environment.
-- response: "If *you* were born in Madagascar, you wouldn't be a secular pluralist."

Not fair to say "I'm rational and you're socially conditioned."

III) What are those reasons?

Three Rungs on a Ladder
1) takes as much faith to disbelieve in God as to believe in God
2) it takes *more* faith to disbelieve in God as to believe in God
3) you can reason to the point of probability, it takes personal involvement/commitment to see life change

Rung #1 (15:20-36:50)
Arguments for non-existence of God
1) "senseless and pointless" evil and suffering
- good God not powerful enough to stop it
- God powerful enough to stop it but chooses not to
- therefore, no all-powerful and all-good God

Doesn't work because: how do you know it's pointless and senseless? How do you know God doesn't have a good reason for it that you can't think of?
Example: "Look in this pup tent, are there any St. Bernards?" Can be seen. "Are there any parameciums?" Can't tell.

2) believers in God are so horrible
- human heart can take any philosophy or view of God and use it as a warrant for violence ("I have the truth and you don't so you're a second class citizen")
-- ex. Buddhism -> Shintoism -> Japan in WWII
-- ex. Christianity -> Crusades, shooting abortion doctors
-- ex. Islam -> terrorism
-- ex. atheism -> Communism -> Russian killing fields (If I can get away with a bad act, I can get away with it, no judgment day)

3) agnostic approach
- 5 blind men who come up on elephant and describe it diff ways, so no one has full picture of God - we are all blind men!
-- analogy breaks down b/c it assumes the storyteller can know that all the blind men are blind, and can see the whole elephant - having superior knowledge
-- appearance of humility, but it is an arrogant claim to exclusive truth
- instead, say "maybe one of these folks is right"

4) "you have to prove God to me"
- this is a leap of faith that God is something that you can prove
- makes sense for a Creator God not to fit into the universe
- ex. there is no non-circular way to prove that your memory works, can't prove a belief in the inherent human dignity
- ex. when Soviets sent first cosmonaut to space, felt that meant no God. CS Lewis' response: can't relate to God like a person on 1st story to person on 3rd story, rather like Hamlet to Shakespeare (creation to creator) - Hamlet can't figure anything out about Shakespeare by running around backstage, but only if Shakespeare writes something about himself into the play

Rung #2 (36:50-51:25)
Argument: The things we see and know in the world make more sense if there is a God than if there is not

3 things that make more sense w/ God
1) "fine tuning principle" / anthropic principle
- very specific natural "dials" in order for human life to occur - 1/1 trillion chance that world could support life
- Dawkins' argument - multitude of alternate universes, ours is just chance
-- counterargument - dealing 20 straight aces, we don't believe that it's chance
- would anyone base their life on a 1/trillion chance?

2) love and beauty
- alternate explanation: generated by chemicals in brain solely for purpose of furthering your genetic code
- feels significant, but it's not - in the end, whether you're loving or cruel, makes no difference

3) human rights
- can't prove it, not self-evident - why?
a) there is God and God created us in his image, so we're sacred
b) nature
- doesn't work. Ex. woman who lived by creek - evolution loves death more than you or me, we value individual supremely, but nature values life not at all. Can't be produced from a sea of amino acids and then turn and shake fist at it
- nature = survival of strongest, which is opposite of human rights
c) society creates/defines human rights
- wrong b/c then that means genocide is only wrong b/c we say so, and majority can exploit minority, which is not human rights

Rung #3 (51:25-56:36)
Analogy: falling off a cliff, see a branch
If I grab it, it may hold me up, it may not, you may be certain, but you don't know until you grab it
Weak faith in a strong object is infinitely more important than strong faith in a weak object b/c it is the object of faith that is more important

Analogy: hiring
Can only do so much background check, etc. but need to hire to know if you are the right person

Christianity is only religion where God becomes a person - why important?
Analogy: Dorothy Sayers' detective books - she wrote herself into the book and rescues the characters b/c she loves them so much
God saw his creation, fell in love with us, and wrote Himself into the play to rescue us

Tim Keller - "Belief in an Age of Skepticism" - Q&A 2008-03-05
1) 0:00-4:00 - Dawkins' "rotating teacup around Earth" argument - can't prove it, can't prove God = "Verification Principle"
A: You can't empirically prove the Verification Principle. Science only works on empirical objects, but you can't base your life on empiricism.

2) 4:40-6:40 Joseph Campbell quote that God transcends existence and so we can't know him
A: Right in honoring the size/scope of God, wrong in saying that God can't be described/fit into categories of what we know

3) 6:40-11:30 Francis Collins talk about evolution and Christianity co-existing
A: Christians are on all different sides of the spectrum, but to determine Christianity, the question really is - did Jesus rise from the dead? Diff viewpoints include theistic evolution, progressive creationism, etc. Try reading The Secular Revolution by Christian Smith about the secularization of higher institutions.

4) 11:30-18:40 How is Christianity different from Judaism, Islam, and other religions?
A: Every other religion has a prophet that says "I am here to help you find God." Only Christianity has a founder who says, "I am God come to find you." Christ makes unbelievable claims - ex. "I saw Satan fall from heaven," "For years I have been sending you prophets and wise men and you killed them all," "Before Abraham existed, I am". Christianity will either be better or worse (fraudulent) than other religions, but cannot be the same.
So, check out whether Christianity is true:
- are Gospels basically reliable? Check out Jesus and the Eyewitnesses - Gospels not oral traditions but oral histories from eyewitnesses (who remain in Gospel to authenticate Gospel)
- did Jesus rise from the dead? Check out The Resurrection of the Son of God - NT Wright - ex. 1st ppl to see risen Christ are women, who were of such low status that their testimony is not admissible evidence in court - so it wouldn't make sense to write them into the document, unless it's true.

5) 18:40-24:30 What does it mean for you to be Christian?
A: Original way in college - intellectually wrestling with evil, suffering, etc.; personally saw weaknesses in experiences in college; socially saw Christians who didn't care about justice and non-Christians who did. Finally met Christians who did believe in justice. 2002 had thyroid cancer, am I going to die? While recuperating, read Resurrection of the Son of God, read everything while confronting death, took me down to a new level of certainty intellectually (while already immersed personally). If the resurrection is true, then the universe is an ocean of beauty and glory, and we're locked temporarily into a window of darkness and evil.

6) 24:30-30:40 What does belief and faith mean?
A: When I'm falling off a cliff and I see a branch that can save me, I may reason that it is strong enough to save me, but I need to grab it - I need to act on my reason - for it to be effective. In personal relationship with God, He may tell you things that you don't like to hear. If God is truly not of this world, then His Word will offend every culture on earth.

7) 30:40-35:00 Why value philosophical level of reasoning about evil instead of the "real" level of suffering we personally experience?
A: The struggle may be personal and people hide it behind the intellectual/philosophical. Goal is to strip away the philosophical level in order to cleanly deal with the personal level. Christian faith is only one where God says he loves us enough to subject himself to suffering, and can identify with us in suffering - losing a son, being betrayed by friends, etc. Now, I don't know why evil and suffering are there, but I know what it isn't - it isn't b/c He doesn't love us or doesn't care.

8) 35:00-39:10 Christianity is based on racial/cultural background - could there be a better one less hindered by it?
A: Christianity is on its way to becoming culture-neutral. Hindus primarily Indian. Buddhism primarily Asian. Muslims primarily Middle Eastern. Christian demographic center has migrated from Jewish to Greek to Eastern Europe (Armenia) to Western Europe to North America to China. With each migration, each culture influences/transforms the religion (ex. Greek philosophy of Trinity). Average evangelical Christian is now non-white. Now, Asian culture will be transformed by Christianity and will change Christian theology.

9) 39:10-45:15 How can you condemn other religions coming from other cultures and backgrounds to hell?
A: I don't condemn other people, I ask, "What do you do with the fact that Jesus claimed to be Son of God?" He's either the Way, or not. Christians don't know what happens to infants who die, and it's not my business. Christians don't believe you go to heaven b/c you're good, but b/c you know you need God's mercy and you admit your moral failure. The ethics between Christianity and other religions is similar, but the way we connect to God is different. We say the only way to heaven I know about is what I've been told - that I can't. Americans get the most bent out of shape about this b/c of Western Enlightenment thought, democracy, everyone gets a vote - rest of world has no problem with "one true religion" idea. Everyone in hell is there b/c they want to be - they want to be their own savior and lord, and they don't want to be in heaven with God pushing them around. People go to hell b/c they want to be, people go to heaven b/c Jesus is there and they want to be with him.

Sigh

Not that I wasn't already dreading hitting the big 3-0 this year... but I guess I can't run from it, considering what I just got in my mailbox (emphases mine):

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Benefits include access to:
- Travel discounts
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At AARP, we work on the issues that matter to you. Get the latest information on Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, economic security, health care and health insurance. Our goal is to deliver value to our members through information, advocacy and service.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think it's time for my medication and then some bingo.

Kooza recap (or, "How the heck did they do that?")

Last night, for her birthday gift, Shally and I went to see the Cirque Du Soleil production "Kooza" in downtown San Jose. It's only around for a handful more weeks, and it's not cheap (came out to $100/ticket to sit in the back of the middle section facing the stage), but it was well worth it for each of our first Cirque experiences.

For those who haven't been to a show before, I believe the entire program is Canada's take on the traditional circus - clowns and stunts. The clowns may be effective entertainment for little kids (even though some of the interludes/comments from the clowns were surprisingly crude), but the real purpose they served was filler while the stage was being set up for the next big set piece.

The danger that spectators can sometimes fall into when watching performers who are really really good at what they do, is to begin taking them for granted and thinking, "That might not be that hard." Fortunately, we were stripped of this assumption fairly early on in the show when one of the high-wire artists lost his footing after a leapfrog over another performer, and had to swing himself back up onto the high wire gymnastics style, before giving it another go successfully. Seeing him fall helped strip away the illusion of invincibility and helped ratchet up the tension for every performance, knowing that these were in fact world-class acrobats, jugglers, and athletes.

I think the neat part of the show is well encapsulated in this review I read after getting back: "When I leave the KOOZA show, I self-analyze what emotions tumble through my veins: joy and vigour, mixed with a handful of hope. Why hope? Because Cirque du Soleil proves that a performance stalwart can continue to inspire wonder in its 20th show. Within three hours, it can turn men into boys, children into instant smiles and twinkling eyes."

We happened to sit behind a Vietnamese family with three cute little girls who engaged us in conversation throughout the evening, offering us popcorn, and expressing wonder at the cool things happening on stage in front of them.

Here are the highlights (referenced in this video):



1) Wheel of Death (3:30-5:15)
Without a doubt, the highlight of the show. Those two guys started the whole contraption spinning around the central fulcrum, then began doing stunts like leaps, jump rope, both inside and outside the wheels. I found myself involuntarily going "Whoah!" with nearly every revolution... and my exclamations simply melted into the general sense of amazement that the whole audience was verbalizing.

The rest of these highlights will simply be presented in the order they happened...

2) Contortionists (00:34-00:37, 1:27-1:48)
Otherwise known as the "bendy girls." Look at the first clip where the girl plants her chin on the ground and then crab walks all around her head... that's The Exorcist creepy. I would not have been overly stunned to see one of them turn their head 360 degrees.

3) Trapeze (1:57-2:08)
This was the weakest part of the show for me other than the clowns... while flying around on a trapeze certainly looked like fun, it didn't wow me like most of the other acts did.

4) Unicycle (00:57-1:04, 2:16-2:22)
I think Shally really liked this one. It had a very romantic feel to it, with the unicyclist and his partner looking like they were dancing on 1 wheel - a mobile cha-cha-cha, if you will. Coolest stunt here was the guy twirling the girl around his body (a la upper level swing dancing) while riding around on the unicycle (second clip)

5) High wire (2:23-3:18)
Reading reviews, apparently all 4 of these guys are brothers. I wonder if they teased the guy that fell, like brothers do... "You have to do the dishes until someone else falls!"

Still, the trick with the two guys on bikes carrying the third guy on a chair? Jaw-dropping, especially considering one of them had fallen earlier in the performance.

6) Juggling (5:26-5:30, 5:36-5:40)
Having seen Chris and Shally both do some juggling, I was sorta able to appreciate what this guy was doing. He had rings with different colors on each side, and then while juggling would rotate them before flinging them into the air so we could see the rings apparently change color during the middle of the routine. Also very cool: using the feet to juggle bowling pins.

7) Chair (5:16-5:18)
Less active than the other acts, but it involved a buff Asian gymnast (reminded me of the Asian guy from Ocean's 11) stacking chairs 30 feet into the air and then balancing on them with one hand. Made me feel like I should work out more.

8) Teeterboard (6:08-6:22)
A fitting finale to the night, involving teams of acrobats leaping onto a teeter-totter to launch someone on the other end into the air to do half gainers, twists, and land on someone else's shoulders. Jaw dropping moment: strapping a girl to a single stilt, launching her, and having her land it without falling... wow.

Unfortunately, the show leaves San Jose on 3/16, but if you ever find yourself in Hartford, Philadelphia, Chicago, or Boston in the next few months... check it out.

It's FAN-tastic

What a great time to be an NBA fan. Let me count a few ways...

5) TNT and NBA TV in HD. In 2007, Comcast didn't give us these channels in HD, but all of a sudden in 2008, we do. Now we can watch NBA games either on Tivo (to speed through commercials and free throws) or in glorious high def.

4) The recent trades. While it bugs me that the Lakers got a legit All-Star big man (of which there might be only 10 or so in the entire league) for absolutely nothing, I have to admit that a league with good teams in LA and Boston is more interesting just because of the history and the fanbases. Sure, it means that there will be more irritating bandwagon fans hopping on (especially the Lakers bandwagon), and as a Warriors and Spurs fan it's frustrating that my teams could very well even fall out of the playoffs, but just as a basketball fan it's fascinating to see how LA, Dallas, and Phoenix are integrating their newest acquisitions. TrueHoop had a good article on this topic last week, about the differences between the effects of good social cohesion (a good locker room environment) and good task cohesion (teams that might not like each other in the locker room but work together well on the court).

3) The proliferation of web analysis and highlights on the league. Sites like TrueHoop, ESPN NBA Highlights, and Coaching Better Bball have all entered my daily reading. In particular, the latter site (a recent discovery) has been quite enjoyable to see video clips of plays, offensive sets, drills, and insights that I wouldn't be able to pick up on my own.

2) The ridiculously competitive Western conference. Every win or loss, even in the regular season, has daily implications for the playoff seedings. What does this translate into? Regular season games with the intensity of playoff games. While I'm concerned that this will drain the West teams prematurely in the playoffs prior to meeting up with Boston, Detroit, or Cleveland in the Finals, it does mean that every week there are great games on TV.

1) One year ago today, with the Warriors mired in a 6 game losing streak, they beat Detroit 111-93 to begin a 16-5 run to end the season and sneak into the playoffs. I still can't quite believe just how things have changed in the atmosphere here in the Bay Area with this team since then - I was at the 76ers game last Friday, and we were expecting to win against a decent East team that upset Phoenix the very next night. The W's didn't disappoint, going up by double digits early and never letting us feel the familiar tension from years past of "how are they going to blow the game this time?"

While the team doesn't appear to have the talent necessary to be a true contender for the title now or in the future (today's core of Baron/Jax and tomorrow's of Monta/Biedrins/Wright), the fact that basketball is fun to watch in the Bay is the greatest reason to be an NBA fan right now.

A little appreciation goes a long way

Shally and I celebrated V-day this year one day early to avoid the crowds. We had reservations at Osteria in Palo Alto for 7:30 pm, but due to a multitude of factors ended up running late. Since the restaurant is quite popular and typically has a line out the door most nights, I began mentally checking through backup destinations.

I called the restaurant at about 7 pm to let them know we were anticipating an arrival time 20 minutes after our reservation. We showed up 15 minutes late, got checked in, appeared to get bumped to the top of the line, and to my pleasant surprise, didn't have to wait long for a table. As the host showed us to our table, he mentioned, "Thanks so much for calling ahead. You'd be surprised how many people show up 20, 30 minutes late and then act stunned that their table isn't being held for them anymore."

You know what? Knowing that a simple 30-sec phone call had helped him out by relieving the stress of the unknown, and that he in turn was able to help us out by getting us a table more quickly than if we had lost our reservation... that small gesture of appreciation felt really good. So thanks, Mr. Host Guy, for letting me know that what I did helped.